Monday, July 5, 2010

Enterobius fermicularis - The Warped Weekend - PART I

Since I knew it would be difficult to sum up the recent Warped weekend in only one blog, I'm going to do this one in short installments.

To say the least it was, for the most part, a blast. To say the most, well, you’ll just have to read on and be patient.

One of the most annoying yet endearing qualities about me (yes, I just called myself endearing) is that I have this insatiable desire to make sure that everyone has a good time. I have been like this since childhood; unable to bear in any family member or friend their “saddened, angry or bored mood”, I would entertain them with jokes or antics on the road, the hotel room or in the tent, depending on our location. Any topic was fodder for the distraction. It bothers me to see others not having fun or enjoying themselves as any road-trip is meant to be enjoyed. It is both a curse (for me and whomever I may be with) and a release.

In either case, I ended up being the “fun sucker” for my daughter at Warped Tour and I am remorseful enough that I should admit that here for the world to see. Sorry Punky!

I’m sorry that I had to stop being a friend and act the roll of parent after the jolt of fear that seared through me when I thought you were being kidnapped and sold into slavery!!

Turns out, I was not far off, what with the Vans Warped Tour staff’s blatant attempt to play on the excitement and vulnerability of fans and convince them to serve in their catering tent, dishing slop to the many performers and staff that is necessary to put on a show of this magnitude. Who cares if you spend two hours on your feet, NOT rocking out to the bands you actually paid good money to see, but instead serving up beans and rice to their roadie’s and stage hands, hoping for a glimpse of your favorite rockers or maybe a smile from some cool drummer?

At least they give the kids a green bracelet to get back stage for any performance; cool right? Well, it could have been had I not made my daughter feel so terrible about abandoning her friend K (who opted to watch and rock to her favorite bands rather than join the other unwittingly enslaved fans in the torturous heat to play cafeteria lady serving strangers dinner) that the entire experience was ruined by her discomfort at having believed she ruined everyone else s' concert experience (those being the words I used to scold her through several texts as I tried to figure out WTH she was doing and where she was).

I basically cussed her out for making me feel uncomfortable, because I was afraid others would not enjoy themselves because she had jumped at what she thought was a chance to meet one or two idols, but instead turned into a chance at hard labor; I foolishly felt that she needed a lesson in humility so I bombarded her with texts of how inconsiderate and rude she was being. How could she leave her friend to conquer the concert alone? Why would she not stick around to actually witness band performances? Was this not what we spent so much money to do?

So now, her most memorable souvenir will be the unused backstage pass bracelet that she couldn’t bear to use out of the guilt that I had rained upon her. She did try to convince me to put it on and try to go backstage for We The Kings, so I could witness, possibly up close and personal, the ONLY band I had truly any desire to see, and my own shameless idol, Travis Clark. But we were all far too exhausted to even last through the whole set. I could barely even harmonize my beautiful rendition of Demi Levato (K's personal idol - NOT!!) singing "We'll Be a Dream." *SIGH*

So, for ruining my daughter’s Warped experience, I am truly sorry. I love you Punky! Thank you for realizing in yourself a passion for wanting to meet your idols and doing all that you can to do so, even if you realized only that you don't ever want to go into the catering business!! Keep the green pass as a badge of honor for having endured your mother's realistic fears and tortuous and vitriolic text messages and the heat and sweat that you endured before you finally and literally bumped into Jake Germany on our way out of the bacterial breeding ground.

This was but one experience, the uncomfortable one, that was hopefully overshadowed by many of the events that brought hysterical laughter and tears to us throughout the rest of the weekend.

With the next blog installment (to follow this one shortly) I will make it up to everyone that "I" made uncomfortable and then some!

P.S. my daughter does NOT approve of this message! She said I did NOT ruin her time, that she had a blast and would do the catering all over again because she actually did get to meet and serve several band members; she would not have left K if K had not been with two other people and quite capable of enjoying herself....blah blah blah blah blah.... what she is actually saying, is that "I" didn't ruin her day with my ugly text's to her. That's a plus for me then! It means I did my job well!

Coming soon: Gas and Stuf, putting an end to vegetable abuse, Emo State Fair and Side Show, rain, wet rain, sideways rain and a convention for the blind.

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